2 be or not 2 be – A Voice of a Girl from the shoes of a Women!

Ask for a drop of love shall pour the rain on you; Ask for a sea of hug shall bring the ocean down for you; Now asking for a glimpse of u, but… seeing no where of you…… 2 be or not 2 be.

A voice of a girl from the shoes of a women

A fairy tale was always told when we were children, we grew up looking forward in arriving of that prince charming whom we have always seen on a white horse riding high as a Gallant taking us in his arms to his beautiful castle where meadows and lush green valleys are seen, morning coo koo birds koos, music plays far by, yet flows into your ears. The Man comes behind to whisper in the ears words we long to hear and to end they lived happily ever after. This has been and will be the dream of every little girl who grows up with the belief on Angels, Santas, Fairies, Cupid and a day to see herself as a princess more to say a day waiting to see her prince.  The day she grows up the reality hits her hard.

Now I am twenty six, 10 yrs of reality and contradicting fact of fairy tales and mills and boons what then we believed life is,today I am standing in a place, where there is no prince charming on a white horse riding high, neither in front of a Meadow nor a lush green valley, Yes, I hear a song being played now. A song of a solitary reaper who sings in her own language and I am trying to be interpretative here to take my own meaning to it. While I am writing this blog out of my experience, 2 be or not 2 be. The post from here would read about whether to (2) unite and be a person who you are or not 2 unite and be someone whom you want to be just for a matter of fact you two want 2 be together. I am not here to preach or inculcate a thought of feminism in the minds of my readers, but a thought every individual would want to think for their sister’s, for their women friends, but seldom forget to think the same for their to-be Wife or for their wifes. A voice of a girl from the shoes of a women.

Being born and raised in a Malayalee Nair family, I have seen my mother standing all alone fighting all odds, shaping us to stand where we are today, not giving us a sense of missing our father anytime. Though I remember, when I use to go and play in the park and see a child and father playing, my heart would visualize for that caring touch and the secured feeling a child would get. When I get back home, I see my mom’s arms wide open and I hide in her warmth and add one more vow to my fantasy list that I shall never let my child be with a single parent. Been grown up with my mom I always saw her as my role model. I adopted her style of thinking, head high in times of all difficulties, even on the time I never knew the meaning of Self – Respect or Self- Esteem I would pretend : “I AM SHE” A girl of substance!

Time passes by taking us through the routes of roads less traveled, we start our crush-list on and then infatuations, and a broken hearted feeling but to our surprise we move on falling in love again or having a crush, thinking of all that we grow up and turn back to see our nostalgic feeling we smiled and then the big day arrives to get married. Someone from somewhere comes to say I am the guy and we fall out like an Insect going near the light seeing the brightness some turn out to be the torch bearer some turn out to be the torture bearer. “Marriage is worth risking” my sister told me yesterday I wondered At the worth of one’s life??? We are admired and adored from childhood for what we are and not for what we want someone to be.. then why in relationship one wants the other to be someone they aren’t.

When love is there nothing else should matter, if it is not then everything else would. Self- Respect is not a quality that we demand in favor of a women but it is the pre -requisite required in any relationship to be taken forward. Self- Esteem is not a term to define manhood it is a term to define an individual. All that a girl needs is a sense of security, A sense of being cared, A sense of “don’t worry I am there for you”, A sense of no loneliness, A sense of not being blamed for her little things and all that a women needs is her Identity not to be lost in front of her and at no time in front of others, All that a women needs is her Self- Esteem, Self- Respect, and her Self to be seen from the eyes of her beholder, A sense of Pride, Privilege and Passion to call her self she is “SHE” without any comparisons. Saying this I recollect a saying:  “A man gives Love for Sex and A Women gives everything for Love”

It is not difficult to understand the opposite sex when one understands to love their loved ones. Love is not love when it is not felt in its own way, it is better to workout a relationship to a great extent it can be but not at the cost of loosing one’s definition of beingness which is equal to shaking the rocking chair, it gives you a sense of momentum for a while, but it takes one nowhere and if not now later the momentum would get diminished.

Incisive ~ Trying to speak my thoughts

Thinking to think and speak about what I am thinkng!!!

We always need someone in our life to love us, when they are with us, we learn how to live; when they leave us we learn how to survive. This line caught my eyes in a glimpse. For a while now, I have been visiting my blog, tried to write something a few many times but in vein. Today after having all that heated up arguments with my fiancee, I turned down to a space where I can speak my thoughts out, without waiting for a second thought I have ended up here inking down an incisive thought of mine.

The question, Is relationship to be controlled or complimented, convinced or complicated, consoled or convicted,   have been running in my mind a while now, and icing to the cake I ended up reading the above said quote, author unknown. Precisely to write, I am too, a tyro with the new status change from single to being in a relationship. The journey with the hand holding started like any new couple, over a period of time I started realizing Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus coming down to earth to begin a living together.. lot of arguments, lot of difference in opinion obviously we are from different planets. This is making me to believe the reason to understand why only few marriages are successful may be now it is to say, the survival of the fittest suits the marriages more than the corporates..

Analyzing what is really the problem, A huge monster comes in front of me and and smiles saying welcome to the club house of  compatibility issues.. Grrrrrrrrr…. was this term ever known to our grandparents? at least to our parents?? The bell rang saying Nooooo….! With all the effort I could get from the evening cup of Bru, I pushed the heavy man oops monster aside and saw my mom beside me reading a magazine. Seeing her for a while made her turn at me asked me what was it about.. My mind pondered loads of question to top it all it was… What the hell did I do wrong to you.. why have you got me into this new stupid status, Can I afford to ask her this question obviously NO! Can I remain silent.. NOOO..! All I asked her was How did you manage to get married and live with dad so long, she is obviously experience with 3 children and now having her grand children do you think she would not have understood the untold question that lay behind my brain?

Interrupting the conversation was a voice that sounded calm and quite. This was the voice I liked, This was the voice that gave me so much of confidence, This was the voice that made me laugh always and made me fall in love many ways…I took the call excusing myself from my mom with a disgusted look she excused me.. I started speaking, melting, and missing the person of this voice. A lot of times when the other takes over you I miss this man… I stated! He laughed.. and told I love u doll… a word that made me forget all the quarrels I had. Without a thought I told him I love you too… just an hour ago I have told myself I hate him… wow… how strange is life, when a stranger becomes your’s… I wrote.. we are not similar to be alike… but we are also not unlike to be unliked! the monster named compatibility popped up again to remind me he is there between us, I told him not today may be some other day!

Came out after 2 and half hour, mom told me this is how I have put up with your dad so long…. I smiled at her and told yeah he is really sweet… blushing now!!!!!!!!!!!