What drives you?

Most of us should have come across this question sometime or another in our life. What drives you in your life? Many of us not even knowing what really drives us, would have given the most vague answer which we have  somewhere heard and recorded in our sub conscious mind. Which we have believed to be true to the fullest of our knowledge. Probably, we would have even tagged few in our life as weird for they might have changed their profession at the age of 45, or they could have changed their area of strength to the learning curve.

This trans from the zone of known to the zone of unknown has made us thwart their efforts of achieving their potential.  Have we?  We have seen them proving to be the most successful person in the history of records. Still we call them weird. Have you asked this question to your self, What drives you in your life? the first answer may be the job in which you are in, may be money, may be your friends, or may be even the culture of the organization we are associated in with.  I have also seen guys and gals telling I am in this office for my boyfriend and the vice-versa. If the answer is Yes then, Do you feel a vacuum at the end of the day? Do we succumb and feel fragile? Do you let the external factors to kill our internal happiness? If the answer “yes”  still persist, then it is time for you to reflect and come into self-actualization. Moving from the comfort zone aches, but the push is at times required to find the real you! It is  so ironical to find the bubble of perception we are in to be different from the facts of reality. Saying this a story comes to my mind.

There was this mother eagle so worried and upset, sitting at the utmost top of the hill, for she knows the time has come for her to give that little push to her eaglets. She also had her doubts, will my eaglets be let down? will they be able to fly this time? will the velocity of the wind be so high that they would find it hard for them to stretch their small little wings, she doubted the beliefs of her generation. She had to make up her mind and so she did. Started pushing one after one down as she knew it was the question of their existence. To her doubts, the eaglets stretched their wings and flew. At times it is difficult to push and be pushed, but it is the elixir of life.

I had also gone through the phase of the above said question, But it did not take me 45 years to realize what drives me in my life. I as a person had tried my hands on few before I landed to the answer above. Wandered to find the real me in the most of the ways I could.  Got associated as a HR in a consulting firm, Had been into Conducting stage shows and event, Had been with few corporates felicitating now and then few programmes. Here is when I the “Awareness” of the sub conscious mind which is always conscious about what it needs rang the bell to my conscious mind which was sleeping happily till that day. Woke me up with the blow of the question What drives me in my life: Their came the answer “Training”

Being a trainer by profession had made me go to places, meet people, understand how the corporate works and seeing the catastrophic situations of life. Sometimes I had give in, sometimes I had pulled back. Talking about changing the profession, I remember Boman Irani in an Film Fare Award saying, I took up acting at the age of 43, today he is one of the good actors our bollywood has got. I am sure you all should be knowing one of the best writers of today’s generation, well known for his witty and flamboyant stlye of writing his books. None other than Chetan Bhagat, who is a pass out of IIM – A and who had been working with organizations overseas and India, turned down his career to become a writer. He is become so handy that everyone can carry him in their handbag.  Same goes with one of my very close friend, an owner of a well established firm, very successful in his business turned down his offer of being a CEO of an organization, took up something he had desired to be. A behavioral trainer by profession doing extremely well today.

From this what I really understood is that, Your sub conscious mind never remembers anything but it records. It gives you all the possible signals for taking a look at what is that you really need in your life. So that all of us can makes our dreams be our destiny and let our internally happiness rejuvenate us than to bind and blame ourselves as a mere marionette in the hands of the puppeteer.

A Rainy day – Makes you remember someone special.

No views, No clicks, No comments nor criticism… Came to my Blog.. a deserted zone I felt like. None had visited. Obvious, there had been no post from my side. Been travelling and moving around places. I could have written a lot about the places and experience what I had been having for the last 2 months.. I din’t.. Could have written a lot about the Holy river Ganges in which I took a dip in.. what a day that was… blissful with loads of positive energy as if my sins had all gone.. not sure if so.. I couldn’t. Don’t know what kept me off from something that I considered as my passion. May be laziness.. may be loss of words.. may be writer’s block… or may be the fear of letting myself revealed of all my emotions.. I doubt the latter part.

Today, when the clock is striking 12.. listening to the dripping droplets of rain which had given Chennai a new look is making me feel nostalgic, and at the same time makes me feel, I shall not get a better chance to decipher my silence and dwell in the mystic cloud of love, longing, and endure the remembrance of  someone special.  As today being my Mom’s B’day, She took me to Kanchipuram: The city of temples now known for Silk Sarees from down south.. was in the car sitting and tuning to radio listening to few nice numbers. The rain was at its best… was admiring the droplets from the closed windows.

She forced herself into the mother earth with all her force she can, piercing the sand into a piece of land to make it fertile. The smell of the first few drops touching the sand lingers even now so fresh and calm… wish my heart too was as strong as the soil for it could hold the pain of cut through though for good at a later stage. My mind was thinking of one name.. my eyes longing to see a glimpse of the same… my hands were moving automatically to different radio stations… in search of good songs which were the feast to my mind and soul then. Smile arouse for one song played made me blush and took my thoughts so far as they show in movies.. with in minutes I was with him… and so was he…my mind captured the kodak moment.. and my eyes shined……..!

Rainy days so beautiful and eternal for it makes you remember someone whom you had long time thought had forgotten.. or it makes you remember that eyes which you long to see for these many years.. Rainy day unveils the feminine side of every lady, making her embrace the 6ft cloth at her best just for her alpha male to conquer her and cajole her, Am I an exception? Draped myself in the most exotic piece from my collection, waiting for my guy to take a look at me.. smilingly blushing… sincerely longing…Imaginations had come a long way making people meet not in reality though in  dreams. Couldn’t be held in those arms, was held, Though couldn’t feel those warmth of breath, felt.. Though couldn’t say when I would meet my man, my silence spoke and my tears translated those.

Thanks to Laila for she had made me break my silence silently. For she made me write about him, someone whom I haven’t met, but knows for sure he is now somewhere thinking about me and missing me too. Someone whose presence I had felt only in my dreams, whose touch I had devoured only in my fantasies, whose love I wish to  live with as my destiny. Can I afford to miss this? For making our chennai look so beautiful and given us a holiday from this blazing sun and scorching wind. Seeing the paper boats back in the streets was and will always be a bliss for my eyes.. the children dancing to the tune of drops.. the vehicles moving to the speed at most, the chirping birds flying in the search of trees was all a scene that made me quite and think and thank our mother nature who nurtures the planet earth.

The illusion of what we think it is not what it is.. and what we think it is not; need not be something that it is…  May we have more rain.. May we have more shine, for everyday shine makes meadow a dessert; for everyday rain makes the fertile land fatal. May the drops of rain bring that someone special to everyone’s life to make their living more meaningful and wonderful.

I am….. ?

In Search of my Identity

This is a question which every individual’s right brain think at the wrong time…  Who am I? Dos’nt this question look weird when asked when you know who u r.. I know my name, my parental roots, my childhood memories, my siblings… my schools and graduation.. does all this not reveal my Identity…. or does it nt behoove wt I am today….

We all have our own identity… may be our names are similar and nt very unique in  its own accord, but we are made to believe that we are unique in our own ways.. thn we grow up memorizing this “u r unique” , only to be shaken up one day by our parents asking, who do u think you are?  The first time you think..  Who am I? Do we get an answer, seldom No. Then we still think we are unique as it is strongly registered in our brains we start working.. this question now keeps pondering on us from all 4 sides of life..  hounding our peace full sleep into sleepless nights….  only for us to gape at the ceiling one night asking this question to us.. Who Am I? what Am I? Where Am I? thinking about thinking we fall asleep….

I Have also been going through this phase of  life now, in search of my identity Who am I? Its strange to digest the fact about oneself after through introspection, the dreams which we had in our childhood, wt we wanted to be.. and wt we are today… may be that’s the reason, I believe every individual should know who they really are.. know what their real strengths are and what could be their areas of improvement. Its at times witty too.. when I listen to my peoples arguments, the most commonly asked questions to a gal, Do you think you are one Cleopatra, Do you think you look like one Aishwarya Rai? Do you believe one Ambani will come and marry u or one Salman Khan will ride a white horse and take you in his arms.. these were the affirmative sentences said by their own near and dear ones once upon a time. poor little brain, believed these were the facts without realizing it was just a sugar coated words..

Now who is to be blamed, I, for I believed in my brain, My brain for it believed in what my environment made me believe me in or my environment to have made me first believe in what I have heard and listened which now is questioning me on my beingness?

This is a million dollar question, with is withered in me for some time now my inertia is trying all its ways to unveil the jig-saw puzzle of my true beingness.. it is at times fun thinking about yourself and getting to know you in you, it is at times quiet tiring and tedious for you don’t possess what you were neither yesterday nor have in hand what u will be either tomorrow.

The only thing you are left now with you is you…. for which you have such a big question in mind Who Am I?